Bubba Ho-tep lumbered onto the field, the sounds of 20 thousand humans booing and heckling and 8 thousand loyal skeletons rattling their bones echoing in his rotting ears. He opened the match with a thundering fist into the face of Bill Merusk, crushing his nose so badly even Gene's Stealer's doc couldn't splint it.

Sadly, it all went to Bubba's head. The clock was ticking down in the second half. "The Jackal" had the ball and was hurtling through a gap opened in the line in an attempt to turn this tied game into a victory. He was relying on Bubba... But Bubba isn't so good under pressure. He slipped on a small imaginary horned toad and before he knew it FIVE filthy humans were surrounding him, kicking him mercilessly despite the ref's cold glare.

Fortunately, not even five humans perpetrating the nastiest of fouls could harm Bubba Ho-tep, and as the tied game came to a close he lumbered off the field to meet his brother Iggy Ho-tep, who had just flown in from Detroit to join the team.

  So da boyz and I her dat der are some Lizardz lookin' fer some skin and boot makin' from. So if ya swamp suckin' walkin bootz wanna do sum blood bowlin ya kame to the rit placZ


Goff,
Goff'z Nob'z

  Greetings Unworthy Sun Scum,

The infernal Fang Gang seeks to desscicate the pointy-eared, tree-hugging, shadow sissies that call themselves Dark Elves. With Vlad Rockney and his two loyal Nightbrothers at his side, we intend to distract the weed people with our worthless Thralls and leave them punctured and rattling on the field. Let the darkness roam unfettered and may the setting sun see your backs speeding from the stadium err our fangs and feet fly over your girlie flesh.

Por Sangre,

The Fang Gang

(aka Jim.......still lightin' matches in the powder shed)

  Here are some action shots from my game against Tony's Lizardmen.

Pic 1
Pic 2
Pic 3

Note the crushing.

Kudos to Tony for having the presence of mind to use his camera during the game, even with all the distractions flying around.

  I see the wildmen from the north think they take on Honorable Dragon Warriors.

Soon, they will learn to wear armour, and find the blood flowing from many wounds.

We laugh at this paltry escuse for warriors. We beg them to come, come meet our fists.

HA HA HA HA..

It will be PAAIIINFULLL.

  With the announcements made on the next matchups, Torvald Sr. has put out a press release regarding an addition to the Rockpunchers Bruiser squad. Rookie Trollslayer 'Bonewhite' Stenkit has joined the team, filling the empty 2nd Slayer position, which was vacated when Torvald Sr., a Hall of Fame Dragon Slayer himself, took over the team by beating the former coach to death for 'reasons of incompetence'.
The aquisition couldn't have come at a better time, as Leopold Plug, veteran lineman and MVP during the crushing defeat of the Lustria Swamp Stars, has left the team briefly to remedy some personal issues. Rumors tell of significant debt, and the month long tour of poster and body signing events would certainly lend credence to that.

  My Bubba sure was dreamy out there on the field last night. After the game, he was just covered in the sweat and blood of that ugly vampire Rockney guy. I told him to change his rags because he smelled like fear.

It's too bad that the team lost their first home game, but now that the field has tasted the blood of the infidel, I'm sure they'll do better next time.

-Nefertata Ho-tep, wife of Bubba Ho-tep

  A quick note about using the blogger. Click on 'post and publish' to have it show up on the website. If you click on 'post only', it will not show up.

  Bow your heads juicebags!

We the Fang Gang have reigned supreme over the pathetic legion of Rameses X. Rumors of Vlad Rockney's demise have once again proven false. Will the masses never learn? With a score of 3-0 we have proven our worthiness to bear the blood of ages. For a few paltry thralls to suffer is nothing to us. Though we note the distinction of Phil King who struck a harsh blow to one of the unworthy bone scum.

We are Legion. We own the Night. Who shall be our next victim?

Vlad (the still undying)

aka Jim (who almost got his fangs yanked by that darned Mummy)

  Greetings Inferior Beings,

We the notorious Fang Gang have returned from the Mountains of Transylvania to wreak havoc on your pathetic rabble. Vlad Rockney stands proud as Voivode with Nicholi Namath and Lucky Lieber attending as properly deferential Children of the Night. Tonight we shall victimize the shattered remains of the legion of Rameses X and leave nothing but bleached bones and ancient toilet tissue flapping in the wind to mark their passing. Kneel in fear unworthy dogs! You stand no chance.

Vlad (the undying) Rockney

aka Jim (who is so ready to get his ass handed to him)

  Test

  ...and some lizards with dwarf boot-shaped patches of skin missing from their behinds. But it will not go so well for you when we meet again.

  And indeed! It has come to pass that Torvald's Rockpunchers and the Lustria Swamp Stars met upon the field of pain, and as predicted, there are Dwarves adorned in fine lizard skin boots.

All will fall before the strength of this Dwarven onslaught! Quake with fear and despair in the hours before your destruction!

  Excellent.
For those that are unfamiliar with this form of messaging, this is our trash talking page. Feel free to litter it with desparaging comments about teams you have destroyed or are planning to pillage. Just click on the little 'Post' link in the upper right hand corner. If you have issues with logging into the blogger, contact myself or Erik.

And one more thing, I have some beer guzzling dwarves here, minions of Torvald Sr., that are going to feast upon a fine meal of lizard flesh this coming Saturday. Spines will be crushed, Skinks will be skewered, and my entire team will be outfitted with new leather boots by the end of it.
Rar.