Hey!?! Where di Jon's love go?

  Hey all,
I am glad Erik posted what he did. I have busy all week, and allowed that to excuse my reluctance to sit down and respond to Charles and Cory's posts. Fortunately my laziness paid off (as it often does), because Erik managed to capture pretty much all of my feelings, and he expressed them better than I think I would have.
If you feel like you are being let down by your friends, then I want to know. But if you actually think we don't like you, you are mistaken.
Lets get back to the business of being friends

  I'd be a big-assed hypocrite if I said someone couldn't feel depressed. As it is, I’m just big assed.

Chas, you’re my friend, and as such, my family. You’re also an occasional pain in the ass, but I only say that because I love you. You, of all people, should know and understand that.

We, as a group, know and understand each other pretty damn well. Sometimes, maybe a little too well. It makes us strong, it makes us, in many ways, who we are. And it also means it hurts a bit more when something comes between us. But in the end, we’re still friends… we’re still family. Chas mentioned that in time we’ll pretend this never happened, and in a way he’s right. I’m not going to see Chas as any different today than I did last week, he’s still my friend and he’s going to remain my friend whether he likes it or not, even if I have to beat that understanding into him with a stick.

Of all my friends that I’ve made in the last.. what is it now? Five, Six years that the Cheddar Team has been running around together? Cory has been the one that I consistently respected the most. Jon and I share the most interests, Doug I admire greatly, Chas and I think so much alike as to be scary, but Cory, with whom I don’t have a hell of a lot in common, and who I don’t think all that much like, has always had my respect.

Cory and I were talking once and he told me that he didn’t always like being so near the bottom of our little social totem pole, and I said that I could certainly understand that. He also told me that, even at the bottom, he felt a lot better about himself, and his friends, at that point in his life than he had at any other. He said that even if it meant being kicked around a bit, being kicked around by people he respected and cared for and who he knew respected and cared for him was better than the luke-warm friendship of people who smiled at you all the time but didn’t know anything about you.

I can’t not respect that. I’ve tried to emulate it, and in many ways I think it’s made me a better person. I think I’ve done that with all of my friends, taken aspects of them that I respect and tried to incorporate them into myself. As I said, it makes us strong, it makes us who we are.

And, just in case you thought Matt was alone in thinking we’re a pretty fortunate group of screwheads, here’s my Ang’s comments after reading the last week’s worth of posts:

“Just reading over the web page makes me very sad, let me explain.
These guys are saying how lame they are - how lame their friends are - but as an outsider that's been watching you guys for a while now, I can see how very lucky you guys are, and what a very cool thing you guys have in each others' friendship.
I don't have anything like that, most people don't, most people couldn't even imagine having anything like that.
A group of friends that cares for each other - probably more than most families."

Oh, and I miss Pete, Scott, and even Bill too. They, like every one of you, would be welcome at my house at any time.

  What a load of self indulgent crap! Anyone with friends is in a superior position to those without. Both of you guys need to get your head out of your ass and realize that you are not just tolerated. Your friends choose to live their lives with you in it. If they decided not to you would not be their friends anymore. If you are looking for an out in a friendship, stop interacting.


A group of rejects...that is only based on your low self esteem. What I see is a group of intellegent individuals who don't mind calling it like they see it. There are activities that we do that people look down upon, but I would not be the person I am today if I didn't do them. I like who I am and the fun that I have. I am not a drug addict or a rapist, but instead I have a healthy imagination and enjoy exercising it. If you have a problem with your lot change it, or wake up and realize things are damn good.


oh yeah, Cory...friends mess with each other. Any group that doesn't "insult" as you call it isn't being honest. I enjoy the witty exchanges I have with my friends because I realize that under it all is a respect and an honesty that is beyond a faux friendship. Some of my friends have been like a brother to me for over twenty years. We still jest at each others expense, but long ago I realized that it is a way for us to use our intelligence in a sort of game. There is no intent to harm or cause pain, just have fun. So maybe you have a low opinion of yourself and consider yourself a reject, but don't assume everyone else is participating in this self depricating bullshit. We may not be models or the rich elite...but we have intelligence, imagination and the ability to say bullshit to each other and know that we can expect an honest answer back.



On the term "gamer scum"... see above.

  Well Chas look at it this way of our friends we have one who is cool one on one but turns into an asshole when in a group. The ultimate tag along. The Anti-social mooch. I would go on but what is the point?

We are a group of Rejects. People who couldn't handle "real" people and "Real" life so this is who we are. We all have our flaws This last week has been real fucked up for me and each of us go though those times as well.

We all moved to Seattle for one reason or another. Some was for work and others cause we had no other friends. What matter is we are still close. We all walk our own path and sometimes it is togeather and other times it is apart.

If your going on the "I know i'm..." Pitch try this one I just alienated a good friend because of a chance meeting blooming into something. Blown off my best friend for a lot of small shit that many people have done to me or worce. Desided that deep down I enjoy being misarable and friendless over the fact that I have friends in my life for once.

It is hard being near the bottom of the friends social chart and not look for a diffrent group who on the whole treats you better. A group that feels better about themselves and have no need to cut down each other in an atempt of making themselves feel more important for a little while.

I look at my friends and Even the fact that I know I have lived thought some shit that they haven't hell i have probly gotten more sex than most of them. I still deep down feel there better than me. When they are just like me Gamer Scum.

This post might piss some people off. But what the fuck do I care. I'm hurting and in pain Every one else might as well be for all I care.

Cory

  There's a rare day we don't have to face very often. Thats the day when you come to grips with the fact that none of your friends like you. This is not a realization, I have known for a long time, but rather it is when in a short period of time you see it in every possible combination, and realize that hope aside, it is what it is. I don't think this is a bad day inherently, a little tough, but not bad, I've been dealing with the facts for a long time now, just only in little pieces at a time.

So I spent the day convincing people that we should do something noone wants to do, in an effort to recapture something that may have once been there but has died, only to realize once I bullied everyone into agreeing, that I don't really want it either.

Just for the record I have never stopped liking any of my friends, even by the broadest definition of friends and the ones I have treated the worst. I have perhaps hated a few of them at times, but I never stop liking them. Probably a result of some sort of fear of lonliness that I have. Regardless I miss Pete, Scott, even Bill.

I try to think why? In some cases I know, in others I can guess. I am abrasive, inconsiderate, selfish, and I complain alot (though of the reasons that one is definately the lamest, but probably the most prevalent). Sadly though I don't regret any of the specific actions that have made people dislike me. I have more regrets than I can imagine, it's the basis for my life, but the few things I don't regret are some of the strongest tools I have for driving away my friends.

In a week or two this wil rotate off the blog, and we will all pretend it never happened, but every now and again you have to face God and scream "I know the truth. We now return you to your regularly scheduled webcomics.

  I have something.. I have it here... I'm not sure I can describe it.

I have the trailer for the next DOA game..
Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball

Come to my house and watch it this weekend.

My brain hurts.

  I don't know any my self but I understand that some people have nothing better to do then look at Odd stuff on the internet if you guys see any of them send them ot that link

  

  Live, Nude Chickens!

  HAMTARO - Little Hamsters, Big Adventures

  Today is Corys birthday and it also is This guys if anyone cares. But you should all say happy birthday to him. Cory not the dead composer guy :)

  Newcolumn

  Because of a bubble in the time space continum this post was inaccurate. Cory is once again unemployed but has another job offer.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Cory

p.s. other people who share my birthday : Sir Conan Arthur Dole and Moracee (sp) (singer from the smiths)

  The current thread on the Cam-ST list is about moving to an all cross-venue environment. Thus far I've restrained myself from commenting to these retarded cheese weasels, but comments like this make it difficult: actual quote

"I always thought it would be neat if the Kindred joined up with BSDs"

  new game.. -= ZANZARAH =-
There's a trailer you can watch and a demo, but it's a big download. I have it on my laptop if you'd rather scam it that way. It's basicly Pokemon with faries.. and I do like faries :)

  Robotech DVD's HooHah

  Doug's fear of My new Imperial Guard is so great that he is leaving town for a week to avoid facing me. Can I interst any one in some 40k action this weekend?

  Ah, the drug companies is finally preparing to give us drugs that matter.

  How's your Japanese?

  EldarOnline

  Can someone with a good printer please please please print Jon's pretty angel pic for me?!!!

  Just looked at yesterday's posts, and.... Why thankyou Jon! I'm going to have to print that!

  Old but still good: check it out

  Oh and a pretty pic for Tristan

  Check this out. Eh!

  Napster-hounds.. (or whatever Napster substitute you use today) check out Hayseed Dixie bluegrass rock AC/DC covers. Dirty Deeds is fantastic.

  Umm...Dude

  Anything going on this weekend?

  oooo i think i want to see that one :)
Cory
Deep down were all thesbians at heart

  Victory! The vice principal just approved the script my students have been writing for the last play... swearing, weird alternative views, girls in love with girls, and all. *grin* Can you believe it? Now I have two and a half weeks to get it ready. eeeeep!

  SW33T

  **Ahem** Something somewhere

Now time to return you to your regulary timed program.




Cory
"Brain Gnomes do my filing
Cursed Brain Gnomes"

  Somebody say something somewhere!!! I'm bored! *silly grin*

  Haven't had a chance to take it yet, myself, but thought folks might be interested in a Gamer Purity Test

  I can only hope this is going to be half as cool as it should be.
Tron 2.0

  the official "rock, paper, scissors" strategy guide.
This has helpful hints like:
The Helpful "Old Hat" Strategy
This strategy has been in use since the first bout of serious RPS ever played (believed to have occured between two beduin tribesmen in 345 BC, in what is now part of modern day Turkey). The strategy can be summed up simply, the "Old Hat" simply acts as if he knows what his opponents next move is, acting as if his opponent only had three choices of how to play his next move.

  So, I don't know Charles' email... and I have need of my cst. :) Help?